Summer Hiatus//Finding One’s Self

I started this blog with the intention of updating it regularly. And then…

I lost focus sometime in June. I attended two graduations, a bachelorette party, a wedding, a family reunion, and a college reunion. Life happened, and summer slipped through my fingers (in the best way possible). I unplugged (at least more so than usual) and unwound myself until my outsides were in and my insides were out. There were emotions. We’ll leave it at that.

The break from computer screens and reading the news was easier than I imagined. It made me soak up the human interactions, love, honesty, goofiness, and splendor that simply can’t be experienced with technology. It made me really take a step back and survey my life as it presently exists, and decide whether that’s where I truly would like to be. Basically, I started questioning (more so than usual) just about every detail of my reality.

The answers I found in the past few months were sort of fake-outs. They were answers – to be sure – but they were mischievous ones. They sprouted into follow-up questions, observations, and contradictions. My mind continues to wrap around these big philosophical queries riddled with smaller, day-to-day uncertainties.

Am I happy? Am I not happy? What would make me happier? Should I fix my attitude toward something or should I get rid of it altogether? (and of course the meta-question: “Do I even deserve to ask these questions, when I’m lucky enough to have a roof over my head, a good job, and a healthy body?”)

These are just a few of the “umbrella topics” floating around my head.

The resolution to these questions is ongoing, and I don’t claim to know any better than I did three months ago. However, I do know that learning comes from sitting with your own unease. And empowerment comes from easing the pieces in your life that hurt, using thoughtful, purposeful action.

What’s the long and short of this post?

I’m dreaming up possibilities, challenging myself to think beyond my immediate distress, and encouraging you to think through your own. We can do this. Let’s get started…

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